Friday, 4 March 2011

A wee history of life so far

Before I start blogging about what's been happening today or venting my stresses of motherhood and life in general I'll set the scene of life til now - hopefully a consice version!

Life was a normal one, boyfriend, job - the usual - then my first born child came along in 2006. I was a pretty chilled mum ( I thought I was anyway) and my wee dude was a pretty chiled baby, he ate and slept well and all that jazz. We were a great wee family. Mr R and I felt like natural parents and my wee dude was such an easy and loving wee boy we thought 'This is soooo great! Lets have another baby'. So, when my wee dude was only 8 months old I was preggo again and super happy about it. Pregnancy was a bit hard with a baby-turned-toddler around but manageable.

In 2007 my second child was born, a baby girl, my wee love. She was beautiful and we felt our life was complete. For me though, her first year was the toughtest time of my life. She had extremely bad excema from about 2 months old and it took months for the doctors to give her steroid creams. Once they did I was applying cream eight times a day and seeing her in such discomfort was very upsetting. She would also vomit a lot after feeds. I breastfed my wee dude and my wee love til they were 1 year old but for some reason she was sick her whole feed very often. This affected her weight gain and she was quite small for her age. So to paint a picture of life at that time, I was applying cream all day, had to take cream, towels and clothes everywhere we went incase of a huge spew. I cleaned a lot trying to keep the house as dust free as possible as I knew that could aggrivate excema, regulary changing bedclothes, all the while still breastfeeding, which can be demanding, and with a 2 yr old around too. Eventually the hospital took blood and discovered my wee love had a dairy intolerance which was the reason for the excema and probably the vomiting since it would have passed through the breast milk.

I think also by the time she was about 6 months or so, having been pregnant or breastfeeding now for about 3 yrs I was worn down. I hadn't really got much of myself back between babies so I was just a mum and not much else. In my experience it was hard to leave them with someone for long coz they wouldn't drink milk from a bottle and with all my wee love's creams it was just more stress trying to explain to someone what cream should go where and when, so I couldn't really get away. Luckily Mr R was great he could do all the creams and baths so I got a little time out from time to time.

My wee love was coming up for one, which for me was a huge milestone where I felt things would surely get better. I needed a focus and wanted to earn money so I became a childminder. I had two lovely little girls to look after around my kids age and they all got on so well! All I'll say is that four kids is hard work. My wee love still had a lot of cream going on through the day and we had nursery runs and toddler groups to go to - I was pretty drained.

The finacial crisis hit and Mr R was made redundant twice in one year. Then in early 2010 he got the opportunity to work in Dubai and we grabbed the chance for a change and some sunshine. He went out for a few months to test the water and a few months later we all moved out there. Having been together for 10 years we finally got married before we went. It was very, very hard going while he was away. Dubai was nice at first but sooooo hot! We went in June - the worst timing. For various reasons - mostly that we didn't like living there at all - we came home a few months later and started afresh in a new house in the city we're originally from.

We feel quite settled now and Mr R is very close to getting a new job. The kids are at nursery so I get a little peace and quiet. Well needed, I might add as they've been with me eveyday for the last 7 months! Anyone with preschool kids will know they are hard work.

Recently I've become very aware of how NOT chilled I am these days. I know I definitely started as a chilled out mum/person but somewhere along the line I changed into a totally controlling and uptight mum. I'm not sure how to get back to that person. This is what prompted me to start a blog. Hoping that by putting things down and asking questions of myself that it may help my brain realise my real priorities and chill the F out!

PS we have two old cats that pee everywhere which does not help.