Thursday, 31 March 2011

My very own reasons to be cheerful

Well, it's been a boring week this week and for some reason my patience has not been very high at all, the weather hasn't been great and I've been struggling with this blog....BUT I've got a wee group of mummy bloggers to visit thanks to BMB and reading Michelle's blog Mummy From The Heart has given me a wee boost to at least write something even if it's not that great. That's not a judgement on Michelle's blog, it was great, I just mean that mine haven't been too great so far.

So with all those reasons above NOT to be cheerful out the way......

R2BC 1.

My new hair cut is super easy to manage and it hardly takes me any time in the morning so I'm really glad I had it chopped! Plus Mr R likes it too so double bonus :)

R2BC 2.

My gorgeous monkey kids have made me lovely mothers day cards at nursery (well, I haven't opened them yet but I'm sure they will be very sweet) and have wrapped some daffodils as a pressie.

R2BC 3.

I'm just about finished my book - due back to the library tomorrow - and I've really enjoyed it. It was Nigel Farndale's The Blasphemer. It's on the Richard and Judy Book Club list for spring. A great story, some told from three generations ago in the war and some from modern day as a man discovers the history of his grandfather and great-grandfather. Can't say much more without ruining it but it's been a good read. Hopefully I'll get another book from the list out the library tomorrow :) Still got about six books in the queue at home mind you.

Monday, 28 March 2011

Hair Update

I did not take the plunge and get my hair cut that short. I went into the salon with not much idea what I wanted and terrified about what I'd walk out with. But the hairdresser was great and we looked through mags til I saw something that might work. I got it chin length with layers and a proper fringe - not had one since I was about 12. Amazingly the fringe covers the offending grey streak and thank god coz it was becoming a major trauma. All I need now are some ghds but I've not managed to convince Mr R that it's an essential purchase. I'll need to settle for some cheapies that I get with my clubcard points - recommendations welcomed :)

Here I am......I wish! Mine's not as cool as this, but it's along these lines.














 It's ticking all the boxes just now anyway so I'm happy.

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Girl stuff

Three things are causing me major irritation today....

1. BRAS! I bloody hate them! In my pre children days I found a bikini top more comfy instead or didn't wear one at all as my boobs weren't that big or droopy. Not like now - oh my god - I need one but they're so uncomfortable. Since we've lived in Scotland again every time I go out the house I always have a jumper and coat so I don't bother to wear one. But now the weather's getting nicer I need less layers which means I'm gonna have to start wearing a bra *cries*. It's not fair. If I throw a major wobbly like my kids do will someone change the rules and make care free boobs ok? PLEASE???!!!!! *cries again*

2. CLOTHES! I bloody hate them! The only thing I own that's comfy are my pjs. And we all know, as much as we'd like to, we cannot go out in public in our pjs, can we? I need to find a loose clothes style with no tight waistbands or sleeves or just start a pjs trend. Who's with me?!

3. HAIR! I bloody hate it too! It's long and brown *cough* dyed. I've had grey hairs since I was 16 but now I'm 30 I have loads and one major grey streak right at the front. I've been dying my hair all sorts of colours since I was about 14 but now I really have to and I'm fed up of it. I need to do it every 4 weeks and I want to stop. I'm sick of it long too. The last time I cut it short (not quite boy short) I immediately wanted to grow it long again so that's what I've spent years doing but I can't do anything with it. Every 2nd day I need to wash it it takes ages to dry and all that malarkey so our morning gets wasted.

So many times in the past have I said to Mr R 'I just want to shave it off and start again' but it's not really the done thing is it? But I'm getting that feeling again.

Maybe I'd have something like this. Got to bear in mind I wont pull it off in quite the same movie star way...


























This one of Michelle Williams is still too long








But I don't want to look like the girl from Harry Potter.









Been here before though so will it ever happen? Can I go to my natural grey and brown hair and have a short style? hmmmmmmm.........maybe it'll suit me when I'm out and about in my jammies with no bra!

The 4th thing to annoy me today are websites that wont let you go back to google! You're stuck on their page and have to redo your google search - the cheek of it - you swines!

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Flying Thoughts

Wahooo, I got accepted to Britsh Mummy Bloggers! So, I've made a plan to read, comment on and follow one blog per day (or so) so I can build up my fav blogs and hopefully get some readers to visit my blog. I've read some good ones so far :)

Blogging is taking over my life and taking up all my time. I was on BMB for hours last night trying to change my page appearance and edit a badge to put on my blog. I couldn't get any of it to work so decided BMB must be broken. I managed to get a badge but not the one I wanted. I have this other sad hobby - a game called 'Fairyland' on Facebook. I spent way too much tme playing it. For those who haven't seen it, it's a game where you plant seeds and grow the various flowers. Each flower attracts a different animal so you put food out for theses animals to progress through the game. I'm VERY addicted but now that I'm blogging I'm hardly getting time to do my garden. You may wonder when do I actually spend time with my kids.......

The trouble is I can't keep my ideas for blog posts in my head long enough to type them. I need a brain typer of some sort so when I lie in bed thinking of hilarious and intellectual things to post my brain sends all that briulliant work to my netbook. That way you lovely readers can enjoy it instead of reading this mishmash of stuff I'm scrabbling together from my memory. I'll do better next time.

Some brain thoughts: 

It was great to get my kids back from their granny yesterday - they're so cute :)

I wish my cats would stop peeing everywhere in my house - it STINKS!

I need to decide what to blog about properly and do better blog posts. Every time I start to type it come out all shit.

I'm still on a roll of being patient and not shouting at the kids. That's about 2 weeks or so since I started this therapy blog and it's all going swimmingly. Have I done something right or is it just a coincidence.

Mr R is back to work! Well done him, so it's just me and the kids during the day now.

Right I'm away before I type any more drivel.

Saturday, 19 March 2011

British Mummy Bloggers

I've tried to join British Mummy Bloggers. I know I wont get in. I'm one of these people who, if you ask me a question I will give the actual answer not some 'line' or a 'play the game' answer. I just can't do it - never could. My brain can't formulate some BS answer quick enough. So maybe my answers to application Q's wont be what they're looking for.

Or maybe you just have to be a mum with a blog.

We'll see........

Kid free weekend

The kids are away to their granny's for the weekend :) A full 48 hrs of peaceful bliss to have a long lie, read a book, watch tv.......... I do miss them already actually.

Before we moved to Dubai the kids would stay over at granny's every weekend Sunday to Monday which was a lifesaver for me. But now we live further away from granny and we have no car it's not so easy to drop them off for a short time. So she's having them for 2 nights!

Mr R and I went for a drink then out for an indian and we're back to watch some tv and zonk out. You know you're not young anymore when you just want to come home for a cuppa. I'm only 30 as well so don't know what's gone wrong there.

The couch is shouting me, goodnight.

Let's go fly a kite

It was a really nice day, or should I say 'morning' today. Beautiful blue skies and really fresh so the kids and I went for a walk. Wee Dude packed his binoculars, magnifying glass, dinosaurs (not sure why) and his kite just incase it was windy enough. There's a dog walking path nearby that Wee Dude has wanted to go to for a while so we went there first


saw a lovely wee bit of graffiti


Then we took a wee adventure through another path and discovered a great big grassy hill, perfect for flying a kite.


The views of Glasgow were amazing too. Check out my photobucket album below to see more pics.

video

It was brilliant fun until until we had a slight disaster. The wind got pretty wild, Wee Dude needed his gloves on so I gave Wee Love the kite. In the moment I took my attention off her the string started to unwind and she let go!!! I tried to run and catch it but before I could the kite got tangled on an electricity pole :( My poor Wee Dude was in tears but I couldn't get it back.

We'll defo buy a new one and take Mr R with us next time. 

Bloody Technology!

All I want is 'Club Tropicana' as a ringtome on my phone (don't ask), how hard can it be? So, Mr R downloads it for me but I really only need the chorus so instead of asking him to help me again I thought I'll sort it out myself, download an mp3 spiltter - easy. But at every step I just hadn't a clue what to do so kept asking bit by bit for more help and in the end I've had to get him to just do it for me. The technology and jargon is just beyond me.

And that's not the first time today I've needed help. I took some videos today on my camera but for some reason the media player wouldn't play it so he had to help me download and intall some other thing to play them. It's too hard for my poor wee mummy brain so I'm not sure how much hope I hold out for this blog. I've managed an RSS feed and to get my photobucket embedded, if that's the term. And I'm just adding loads of stuff to fill it up at the moment and I'll worry about quality as I go along. I thought I could link to my channel on you tube but it seems inpossible.

Better keep trying then......

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike

Hopefully a lot of Scots will have seen Gary Tank Commander. And maybe if word spreads enough more of the country will see it too. It's a comedy about Gary and 3 soldier mates who are just back from a tour in Iraq. The show follows them in their day to day duties which turn into hilarious moments. There are flash backs to them in camp in Iraq and interviews with Gary where he talks about his views on politics, royalty, the army and the world.

Here's a trailer.....


They also do these brilliant covers of pop songs - you have to see it to appreciate it. This clip is one of the songs from an episode in series 2. I was in tears laughing at it. you can find more on you tube.


I've not seen any show on tv recently, which has made me laugh out loud more.

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike


Sunday, 13 March 2011

Finding my feet

So that's my first week or so of blogging over. For me it's been a real stress buster. This is the first week in a while where I've been cool and calm 90 odd% of the time. Me and the kids have had fun together a lot.

But, blogging is daunting at the same time. As I look into the blogosphere for inspiration and to compare what I'm doing to others out there I'm finding loads of well written and focused stuff. I don't think mine will come up to that standard, in fact I'm sure it wont. And even though I'm doing it for me, there really is no point in a blog if you don't want readers, is there? Naturally, I'm looking up the ubiquitous mummy (or mommy) blogs and I'm tired of them already, yet that is pretty much what I'm doing here. Excuse me, not 'pretty much doing' - 'AM doing'.

So how do I make mine original and interesting when I'm 'just a mum'? I don't have the answer yet. At the moment I'm writing my thoughts on life and even how to do all this blog stuff. I'm learning the jargon and finding out more about the internet than I knew before. Well, I'm going to learn that stuff. I still don't know it yet. It seems like you'll be going on a wee wander through my brain and my thought processes.

I also wonder, where do bloggers get the time to research the stuff they write or find the link they want to post. It seems to take me a while to get the thing I want. Maybe I need to be less picky about what I want to post in my blogs in terms of a music video or you tube clip or whatever. As you can see there is nothing yet. But there will be, once I figure out how to do it!

Since I'm a newbie blogger I'm not advertising my blog yet, but there will come a time when I think I have enough posts to make interesting enough reading for someone to come back. I particularly don't want people who know me to read it. I'm a relatively private person and I don't like to share all my stresses with family members. Mr R excluded, obv he knows pretty much everything, he's a witness to my daily life after all. He doesn't know about the blog yet though - it's still just for me.

Plan of action for the next few weeks: to do posts on anything which interests me (music, books, films) and to add more stuff to my page as a way of finding my feet in this blogging world .

Thursday, 10 March 2011

OMG It worked!

I finished my last post, edited a few things then went through to start getting the kids ready for bed and that physical feeling of RLS and stress was gone! I was actually calm and not just pretending to be. You know the way it is, when you're really calm you can use humour and other techniques you know to get kids to do what you want without moaning or shouting, but when you're really tense and pretending to be calm you don't find anything funny everyone knows you're ready to blow!

Just going to order my Dominos! YUM :)

Tough afternoon

For the first time this week I'm really feeling stressed. It all started as I was preparing lunch. Mr R kept asking me questions while I was trying to concentrate on lunch and my sister called 'just to say hi'. She knows it's lunch time and I have to get the kids out to nursery afterwards. The bloody eggs weren't hard enough, they shells wouldn't come off easily, the bread was to close to the hob and got a bit toasted, my egg mayo was a disaster and I was running out of time! I could physically feel the stress building. Obviously, none of these things should cause stress but for some reason today I felt the ability to be calm slipping away. I did keep my cool, somehow, but all afternoon I've still had that horrible feeling and I can't shake it off. Every time I go near the kids they seem to start crying or moaning about something so I'm staying away, having time out and letting Mr R supervise.

I get a physical feeling which I describe as 'creepy blood'. I first got it when I was preggo for the first time. I tended to get it when I was tired and now I notice I get it when I'm stressed too which really aggravates the stress because it's so physical. I googled the feeling and found Restless Leg Syndrome but I get it all over my body. It's the kind of feeling you get when you really need a fag or when you're trying to quit. I haven't smoked for years but it's the best way I can describe it.

I hoped that writing a post may help - lets hope so. Pizza for dinner may just help too :)


Monday, 7 March 2011

Calm for a day

Does anyone normal do a blog? I'd like to consider myself 'normal' - Mr R may disagree - but I'm struggling to find a blog by someone who isn't a writer, journalist, with 3 kids who they say are wild, tries new recipes, bakes cupcakes, does sailing or some other out-there hobby and is soooo funny everyone loves them.

My blog in comparison is gonna be soooo BORING!!!! I'm not gonna win awards or even have any followers, but I'm writing this pretty much just for me and my sanity. Hopefully someone will relate to it.

As for how today went after my plan of action last night, it went pretty well - very well actually. I woke up to hear the kids playing nicely in their room so got out of bed on the right side. All was going ok so no cup of tea needed.

I started the sticker chart but it soon became clear that Wee Love still has no clue what it's all about. Sticker or no sticker, if she doesn't want to do something she wont do it til it suits her.

I vowed to walk away if she started her crying or defiant nonsense so when it came time to get dressed she ended up going around naked for a while til she was prepared to get dressed with no fuss. Luckily, we had nowhere to go so I didn't let it stress me.

Wee Dude asked to do finger painting, of all things, but since I'm now an agreeable mum I said 'yes'. We even did a Mister Maker activity too (to be continued tomorrow when the stuff dries). It all went very well and by snack time we were all done.

Mr R even reported overhearing from the office an incident where I was very firm with them but did not shout - he said I got it 'right on the money'! wahay! If only he could remember what the incident was I could maybe repeat it.

I also vowed not to intervene with any of the kids fights unless I had to. They really need to sort things out themselves as much as they can. I cannot be a referee, it's too tiring.

And my best moment was having to put Wee Dude on the naughty step after an incident in the street and totally kept my cool in the street and at home and it all ended very calmly.

My kids do tend to have a mad moment after dinner. By then I'm so tired I can't stand the volume, but today instead of trying to quiet them I said 'right lets have the maddest, noisiest 15 minutes ever! They only lasted about 3 minuted before they were tired out and just wanted to watch tv - RESULT.

I really hope it continues like this all week. The trouble is that when it all goes tits up I'm very aware that it's my reactions that exacerbate things but I'm so angry by then there's almost nothing I can do to pull it back.

Meant to read my book tonight but got distracted by looking up blogs and my other embarrassing online hobby. I might reveal that one another day.



Sunday, 6 March 2011

The week ahead: dreading it or ready for the challenge?

I'm just settling down after putting the kids to bed and contemplating what I can do to make the week go as smoothly as possible. I'm still a 'housewife' so I'm at home with the kids all the week and they go to nursery every day after lunch. At the moment the issues I face are:

I hate getting up in the morning and feel my patience go very quickly.
I'm repeating myself to both kids constantly.
Wee Love tends to cry over everything from hurting herself, being frustrated she can't manage something to basics like she needs her nose wiped. Everything seems to be a cry - it's VERY annoying!
Wee Dude seems to forget simple instructions or guidelines instantly. I think he's so preoccupied with whatever he's thinking about that he does his own thing on auto pilot instead of what I've asked him to do.
Wee Dude is constantly asking for something or to do something and every two minutes that something could change. 
Sometimes I feel that no matter what I say it always makes the situation worse.

Where is the line between them listening to me and doing as I say and me having to be less demanding of them and give them more free reign? Does that make any sense? I hope so.

My aims:
I want to keep them relatively calm and controlled, get certain daily tasks done when they need done like dressing and getting out to nursery, have time to do some fun activities that don't end in moaning or crying and also have time to do cooking, clearing up and all the other chores that need doing. But how?

So far in the last few weeks I have set a time when I must be up in the morning.  Sometimes I feel ok and others not - maybe a cup of tea straight away might help.

I cannot have a really messy or dirty house so the idea of just saying 'nevermind about the laundry or hoovering' just will not work with me. It has to be done or I get even more stressed. I have started doing as much as I can when they're at nursery but I seem to find extra stuff to do when they are here - there's always something else that needs done isn't there?

I think a big thing for me will have to be asking less of them so that when I do need something done I can use consequences if they don't listen. Maybe I could start a 'mad mental hour' so they can run off some of the energy, then be a bit calmer afterwards.

I need to turn a blind eye to some of the annoying things and only get involved with the naughty things.

I need to find a technique to use when I feel myself getting tense and stressed. I can feel it happening but it's not always possible to take a quick time out. I'll google it and see what I come up with.

Maybe for a day or two I can do a sticker chart for just listening and see how it goes. Wee Dude responds well to charts whenever we use them but Wee Love seems to have no clue how it works and goes into a tantrum coz she wants a sticker and she wants one NOW! But I need some sort of reward.....hmmmm.......

I don't have the slightest clue what to do about Wee Love's crying over everything. It wears me down soooo fast. I try to ignore but it doesn't seem to work. Maybe I'm not doing it right :-)

So what have I got so far: sticker chart, mad mental hour, time out technique (for me), and absolutely no shouting. Easy or what?!

I have wondered the last few days about the boundaries we set. We watched Supernanny a lot and tend to find her techniques work but our kids are actually really good kids, no fighting, biting, damaging things, swearing, shouting at us (much) so they already are well within the boundaries that we hoped to set as parents. Are we now tightening those boundaries to an unrealistic point. I feel I expect Wee Dude to get dressed when I say so and sit at the table when I say so, walk in the street don't run. I don't make him walk all the time I do let him run but sometimes when I feel stressed I just want them to be calm and walk nicely. Maybe that's just not possible.

Ok time to go read a book or something. I'll give these things a try this week and see how it goes.

Fingers crossed X

Friday, 4 March 2011

A wee history of life so far

Before I start blogging about what's been happening today or venting my stresses of motherhood and life in general I'll set the scene of life til now - hopefully a consice version!

Life was a normal one, boyfriend, job - the usual - then my first born child came along in 2006. I was a pretty chilled mum ( I thought I was anyway) and my wee dude was a pretty chiled baby, he ate and slept well and all that jazz. We were a great wee family. Mr R and I felt like natural parents and my wee dude was such an easy and loving wee boy we thought 'This is soooo great! Lets have another baby'. So, when my wee dude was only 8 months old I was preggo again and super happy about it. Pregnancy was a bit hard with a baby-turned-toddler around but manageable.

In 2007 my second child was born, a baby girl, my wee love. She was beautiful and we felt our life was complete. For me though, her first year was the toughtest time of my life. She had extremely bad excema from about 2 months old and it took months for the doctors to give her steroid creams. Once they did I was applying cream eight times a day and seeing her in such discomfort was very upsetting. She would also vomit a lot after feeds. I breastfed my wee dude and my wee love til they were 1 year old but for some reason she was sick her whole feed very often. This affected her weight gain and she was quite small for her age. So to paint a picture of life at that time, I was applying cream all day, had to take cream, towels and clothes everywhere we went incase of a huge spew. I cleaned a lot trying to keep the house as dust free as possible as I knew that could aggrivate excema, regulary changing bedclothes, all the while still breastfeeding, which can be demanding, and with a 2 yr old around too. Eventually the hospital took blood and discovered my wee love had a dairy intolerance which was the reason for the excema and probably the vomiting since it would have passed through the breast milk.

I think also by the time she was about 6 months or so, having been pregnant or breastfeeding now for about 3 yrs I was worn down. I hadn't really got much of myself back between babies so I was just a mum and not much else. In my experience it was hard to leave them with someone for long coz they wouldn't drink milk from a bottle and with all my wee love's creams it was just more stress trying to explain to someone what cream should go where and when, so I couldn't really get away. Luckily Mr R was great he could do all the creams and baths so I got a little time out from time to time.

My wee love was coming up for one, which for me was a huge milestone where I felt things would surely get better. I needed a focus and wanted to earn money so I became a childminder. I had two lovely little girls to look after around my kids age and they all got on so well! All I'll say is that four kids is hard work. My wee love still had a lot of cream going on through the day and we had nursery runs and toddler groups to go to - I was pretty drained.

The finacial crisis hit and Mr R was made redundant twice in one year. Then in early 2010 he got the opportunity to work in Dubai and we grabbed the chance for a change and some sunshine. He went out for a few months to test the water and a few months later we all moved out there. Having been together for 10 years we finally got married before we went. It was very, very hard going while he was away. Dubai was nice at first but sooooo hot! We went in June - the worst timing. For various reasons - mostly that we didn't like living there at all - we came home a few months later and started afresh in a new house in the city we're originally from.

We feel quite settled now and Mr R is very close to getting a new job. The kids are at nursery so I get a little peace and quiet. Well needed, I might add as they've been with me eveyday for the last 7 months! Anyone with preschool kids will know they are hard work.

Recently I've become very aware of how NOT chilled I am these days. I know I definitely started as a chilled out mum/person but somewhere along the line I changed into a totally controlling and uptight mum. I'm not sure how to get back to that person. This is what prompted me to start a blog. Hoping that by putting things down and asking questions of myself that it may help my brain realise my real priorities and chill the F out!

PS we have two old cats that pee everywhere which does not help.


Thursday, 3 March 2011

Where should I start?

Well, I'm a bit new to blogs so over time my profile will fill up and stuff'll probably get added once I figure it all out.

I'm 30 years old, married, mum to two pre-schoolers (4yrs and 3yrs old) and need a vent every now and then but I'm not really a forums person so have turned to a blog as a kind of therapy. Will it work? Who knows?! I do know it will be a bit like me just thinking out loud, talking to myself kind of idea. As yet I'm not sure how I'll use this, maybe in a facebook status kind of way or daily updates - after a while it'll all become clear. I do hope it's not boring but be warned you may read about how big my washing pile is, how great Home & Away was or the mental stuff my kids got up to.

Right now it is time for sleep and tomorrow I'll start to use this bloggy thing.